


just because we're perfect now doesn't mean we always will be

by galaxy_of_pi



Series: you're the only one for me [2]
Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Sad, and owen's there like. :( i wish he'd love me, and they're oblivious, but - Freeform, but in the second thing its like an epilogue to show that he's learning to heal but like, curt has problems, i couldn't resist adding a few lines where curt's like :( owen won't ever love me, i don't stray from the themes of the show really but, mild mention of alcohol, please be careful reading if you don't like this, the first chapter is dark though so be careful, the second chapter is a hopeful ending, then i go full angst, there's like self-hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxy_of_pi/pseuds/galaxy_of_pi
Summary: Curt had never known who his enemy, the one who would supposedly hate him more than anyone else in the world, was. And once he met his soulmate, he hoped he would never meet his greatest enemy, as only when his soulmate died would his enemy’s name appear on his wrist.He found Owen Carvour and slowly fell in love with him, slowly found with him all he had ever wanted. In one night, it was ripped away.
Relationships: Agent Curt Mega & Tatiana Slozhno, Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega
Series: you're the only one for me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025986
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. are all soulmates supposed to break or is it just us

**Author's Note:**

> so there are trigger warnings for this! please be careful!
> 
> tw: self hatred, mild mention of alcohol problems, canonical character death, curt has a lot of problems and hates himself for letting owen die so it gets dark
> 
> its all based on themes and ideas from the show but definitely expanded on and is sad so yeah. ch 1 has a sad ending but ch 2 is a bit more hopeful, so i hope you enjoy!
> 
> this started as a 200 word drabble and got long whoops
> 
> please comment!

Curt had never known who his enemy, the one who would supposedly hate him more than anyone else in the world, was. And once he met his soulmate, he hoped he would never meet his greatest enemy, as only when his soulmate died would his enemy’s name appear on his wrist. Some people had more than one enemy; more than one person who despised them, but it was rare. He only had one soulmate, and so he likely only had one mortal enemy.

His soulmate mark appeared when he was sixteen. He had been terrified to get it, terrified because  _ he liked boys, what if his soulmate was a girl?  _ But also terrified that if it was a boy, people would find out. 

The relief he felt when  _ Owen Carvour _ traced itself onto his wrist was both swift and devastating. Maybe he could find this Owen, but they couldn’t be more than friends, at least not to the public. And maybe Owen wouldn’t even like him, maybe--

No. Curt pushed the thought away. He probably wouldn’t ever meet him, and it wouldn’t be a problem. 

Owen Carvour was the most amazing man he had ever met. Though they despised each other for the first few weeks-- or month and a half, really, but who’s counting-- an exploding factory filled with far too many explosives after constantly competing to be the “better spy” connected them. Slowly, they became friends.

For a while, that’s all they were. Neither brought up soulmates. Neither brought up previous relationships. It was perfect, except they always felt like they had to hold something back.

Owen brought up soulmates first. 

“Have you met them yet? Your soulmate.”

Curt promptly dropped a briefcase full of case files on his foot and shouted in pain, hopping around the room and panicking.

Ten minutes later, and Owen had confiscated the heavy water bottle that Curt had “accidentally” spilled in an effort to put off the conversation as well as the stack of books that Curt had pushed onto the floor, the conversation resumed.

“Do you not want to say? You don’t have to.”

Curt took a deep breath. It was Owen, his best friend. His-- his soulmate. Not that he’d be saying that. Ever. But that didn’t change the fact that, whether as a romantic partner or a platonic one, Owen was the person meant for him. The perfect person.

“No, I just-- I can say. Have you met yours?”

Owen gave him a look that he couldn't quite read. “I have. I don’t think they want me that way, but I met them.”

Curt could feel indescribable jealousy rising up. “Oh. Yeah. I met mine. They’re great, but I know they don’t like me. It’s alright.”

Owen paused. “Who is it? I don’t know why your soulmate wouldn't like you. You’re-- you’re you. You should tell them.”

Curt shook his head, banishing the thought. It hurt more than he could say for Owen to be saying that, for his soulmate to be acting like anyone would love him in that way when he didn’t.

“I can’t tell them or they’ll hate me.”

Owen had a pained look, but he didn’t respond, and just looked away. “You should tell them.”

Curt picked up the briefcase and stood up, effectively ending the conversation. “I wish I could.”

He didn’t look at Owen as he left the room, his hand lingering over the intricate writing on his wrist.

_ Owen Carvour. _

A year later and Curt had what he never thought he would; a soulmate who loved him. Not just as a friend or a spy partner, but in every way. And he just knew that everything would be okay as long as he had Owen. Neither his supposed enemy nor what the world thought of him would matter. All that mattered was that he and Owen could be together.

And then Owen fell, and the facility exploded.

Curt couldn’t bear to look at his wrist for days. Couldn’t bear to see his soulmate’s name gone. It was a total accident that he even saw the name on his other wrist at all.

The bracelet he had worn since the accident had slipped, and there was a name on his wrist, where his enemy’s name was meant to be. No, not one name--two.

He couldn’t look away from the words, his horror and confusion growing.

He ripped up his other sleeve, and saw what he had been dreading all along. Owen’s name in his neat script was crossed out with a jagged black line, slashing apart his soulmate’s name and destroying it just as losing Owen had destroyed him.

But--

He stared at his other wrist, where his greatest enemy was meant to be and his horror grew.

He was staring at the name of the one person he loved more than anything, his soulmate, the love of his life, and now his greatest enemy, the person who despised him the most.

_ Owen Carvour. _

And then under it, another name. He didn’t even know it was possible, but he did despise himself for everything. He hated himself enough for leaving Owen that he was his own greatest enemy, the other one who despised himself the most.

_ Curtis Mega. _

For four years he tried to forget, tried to pretend that the name of his dead soulmate wasn’t now his greatest enemy. He didn’t even know how that was possible-- Owen was dead. His soulmate mark proved it. Why would it be unscarred, and pristine as if the very sight of it didn’t make his nauseous? 

He began to drink, more and more. Anything to forget the name on his wrist.

On one of the few nights he was sober, he reflected back and thought that being considered his own worst enemy was probably justified.

And then, Owen was there. Staring at him with more hatred that Curt could have ever mustered. With the same hatred that he had seen in his own eyes for four long, dark years.

Owen.

_ “You know you broke my heart.” _

What he had felt for four years was more than a broken heart-- his very soul was shattered.

_ “I’m sorry my old friend.” _

Because that’s what they were to each other. Enemies. Destined to despise each other. Old friends. 

_ “I liked you better when you were dead.” _

At least when he thought Owen was dead, every time he saw Owen looking at him with absolute hatred and disgust in his eyes he knew it was just a dream.

_ “No one’s innocent.” _

He had left Owen, but Owen chose to hate him. Any idea of innocent or guilty melted together in his mind. It didn’t matter.

_ “You lost your mind.” _

If only that was what it was. He wished maybe Owen had gone mad, that maybe this wasn’t the same person that he had fallen in love with that now despised him so much. But it was the same one. They might be warped too much by hate to be soulmates, but they were still intertwined, but now by betrayal and spite instead of love.

The world blurred around him as he studied Owen. The man before him wasn’t who he had fallen in love with, but some part of him still loved him. He fell apart more with every word Owen said.

Their secret was dead. He was too broken inside to feel any more pain.

He watched Owen fall to the ground, and knew this time it was final. Friend, lover and enemy, Owen had been his world. He couldn’t look at his wrist, couldn’t see what had happened to the names on his skin.

He sank to the ground slowly. He couldn’t bear to see if his marks had changed, nor could he see if he was Owen’s greatest enemy. 

_ He couldn’t be, could he? He had never despised Owen, couldn’t despise him. _

Couldn’t see if he was still Owen’s soulmate, or if he was dead to Owen and his name was scarred over.

The burning anger inside him that had festered for years was numb.

Curt raised his hand, and gently touched Owen’s face, the tears that had built up in his eyes slowly running down his face.

_ “You promised me, Owen. You said that spies are forever. You told me we were forever. And you lied.” _


	2. our love was beautiful, but so is learning to love myself again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> curt learns to forgive himself and heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this references grief but is short and focuses on curt learning to heal because i couldn't leave the last chapter how it was

They say time heals all wounds. Curt knew that wasn’t exactly true-- he had lost his soulmate six years before, and then lost him again for good two years ago and it still hurt.

It was a wound that would never quite heal-- too much was shared between them for him to ever fully be ok, fully have moved on. But as time passed, and the seasons changed, he was able to learn to live again.

He stopped drinking. Made some friends with whom he could talk to about Owen and what they were to each other.

Tatiana was there for him every step of the way. The light in the darkness that had clouded his mind.

He eventually told his mom about him and Owen. He had expected horror, or disgust, or some other negative reaction, but she told him that she loved him. That she knew the pain of losing a soulmate, and that he deserved to be happy.

It was a cool March morning when Curt sat outside, staring at his coffee as the sun rose over the horizon. He saw Tatiana slip out and sit next to him, not talking, but providing support.

It was two years to the day that he killed Owen. That he lost him for good. 

Not every day was easy. Some made him feel like he was back in the early days after he lost him the first time. But slowly, it was getting better.

And for the first time, as he watched the golden rays of sunlight spill over the horizon, he truly believed that things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone stop me from writing angst oh god
> 
> hope you enjoyed, please leave a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> the second chapter provides a very short but hopefully hopeful outlook on Curt learning to heal


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